Introduction
Hey, listen – if you had told me that after making Event Horizon Wes Anderson would go on to write and direct The Royal Tenenbaums I would have told you to ‘fuck the shit off’. Why the hell didn’t he get Sam ‘Dr. Alan Grant’ Neill to narrate it? That fucking idiot missed a trick. And Laurence Fishburne? Hello?! Easily could have played Luke Wilson’s character (arguably the weakest Wilson).
So, everyone thinks it’s a really scary film and all of that when what’s basically happening is the adaptation of traditional Lovecraftian elements into outerspace. It’s essentially Star Trek getting raped by In the Mouth of Madness, so John Carpenter must have been pinching himself when he saw Neill betray him in such a callous manner. But, hey, at least it didn’t have Jurgen Prochnow in it, amirite? So, I guess John didn’t mind too much, and he was probably still living off cheques coming in from the runaway success that was Big Trouble in Little China.Event Horizon is tinged with tragedy as we see Laurence Fishburne once again come to terms with massive changes in his life... in this instance it was the news that his daughter would – in the future – become a pornographic actress. In one touching scene we see an eyeless Neill attempt to explain to a Fishburne-in-freefall that acting in ‘flappy skinflicks’ was just as artistically valid as stage acting. Fishburne rose and, angrily, expressed his suspicion that Neill was somehow involved in the whole thing, as he had not previously mentioned the nature of his daughter’s incursions. All Neill could respond with was “you don’t need eyes to see”. Satisfied, Fishburne beat him with an oxygen cylinder, or something.
The question that mainly arises when talking about Event Horizon is “why is Sean Pertwee in it?” – a good fucking question. The only answer that I, as an industry insider, could come up with is that in the office of the Paramount Pictures Chief Executive is a rolodex with the names of British actors who are willing to frequently die in films they appear in. On the top of this rolodex is Pertwee, so out of lethargy alone he was chosen. According to sources, upon being offered the role Pertwee responded with a series of guttural bubble explosions as he was practicing stabbing himself in the stomach. Or he was sucking a massive wang.
Characters:Sam Neill plays Dr. Alan Grant who has gone back to the future with the help of Sir. Richard Attenborough in order to secure a ship that bends space – Attenborough’s ambition is to realise his dreams of intergalactic dinosaur space travel. Fishburne plays a recently widowed, ex-con, former US Ranger who is tasked with tracking down Neill’s characters before he can reach the part of space where a horizon is formed and events take place. There are no other characters in the film.
Plot:
Neill eventually reaches the ship before Fishburne, only to find that it has been to Hell. What ensues is a darkly psychological game of cat and mouse, with Neill frequently breaking the fourth wall with mention of Fishburne’s recent problems. (Spoilers now) Eventually, Neill’s taunts drive Fishburne ‘to the loop de loop’ and he sits back as Neill, who has removed his own eyes for reasons unknown, begins to summon Attenborough through the Dinosaur Gate. The films ends showing the Knight of the Realm’s deathhand begin to appear through what seems to be water, or something. Neill has the final line of the films, stating that he has never before seen "such feral shit".
Conclusion:Positive: It’s nice to see Wes Anderson make a film that isn’t just about elongated, slurred speech, predictable and awkward character development and gay soundtracks; his reckless disregard for the fourth wall is, also, at points exhilarating.
Negative: Neill’s performance becomes tired quickly with his frequent knowing looks directly into the camera.
Best line: Fishburne: “Oh. My. God. What happened to your eyes?”
Out of ten: FIVE (It’s not as scary as everyone says)
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